Nicholas Hoogendyk’s life has been fundamentally shaped by the power of mentoring. A former board member and current supporter of Partners, Nic stepped on stage at the Lincoln Center on Friday, April 10 to share his keynote speech at Party for Partners 2026.
Born to a mother, Lillian, who was 15 years old at the time of his birth, Nic reflected on her difficult decision to have him adopted and raised by another family.
“She wrote me letters that I could read growing up, and there was one line that always stayed with me…‘How can a child raise a child?’ Nic said. “There’s fear in it. There’s heartbreak in it. There’s honesty in it. But most of all, there’s love in it…the kind of love that chooses someone else’s good even when it means that you’re giving up something for yourself.”
Now a father of two, Nic’s voice cracked and his eyes welled up with tears as he recognized that he wouldn’t have been able to make the same decision if he was in Lillian’s position.
“It could have been the right thing to do, but I couldn’t have done it, and so I owe her a world of gratitude,” Nic said. “It’s obvious to me why Lillian was my first mentor…because she impressed [upon me] that real love is not just a feeling…Sometimes, it even means stepping away so that someone can have a chance.”
Nic continued to be impacted by mentoring throughout his life, such as through the mentoring he received from his parents who raised him.
“My mom and dad, they chose to be my mentors,” Nic said. “My dad showed me the value of hard work. He built businesses when I was a kid, and he always did it with a playful heart and a love for serving people. He thankfully instilled that in me. My mom, on the other hand, was this beautiful balance of unconditional love. She was the tenderness in the moments where I needed it.”
Nic was also mentored by Spiro Palmer, who gave him his first job at Palmer Flowers when he was 13.
“Spiro taught me that even how you take out the trash says something about you,” Nic said. “It’s in the little things…and in that work, you can find pride in yourself. That stayed with me because, for a young man, there’s something powerful about an adult outside your family seeing you and looking at your work and saying in 100 quiet ways, ‘This matters, and so do you.’”
Nic gestured to two men in the crowd: Marcus Valdez and Andy Weiss. He explained how they had been mentors to him and his friends when they were teenagers by allowing them to spend time at their shop called Brothers Boards.
“For eight to 10 hours a day…we bounced between their shop and the skate park,” Nic said. “Probably without them even ever noticing, they became exactly the mentors we needed in that shop. They taught me about healthy outlets for the big new feelings I was having…[They] showed me that if something mattered to me, even if the world couldn’t understand it, it was worth chasing.”
Nic also reflected on how Gerard Nalezny mentored him by giving him the opportunity to take his place as a board member for Partners.
“[I was] much younger, less polished, and I did not think I had anything to give to this organization,” Nic said. “But Gerard saw something in me. He saw some potential that I wasn’t able to see in myself at that time.”
Nic explained how becoming a board member for Partners reshaped the way he saw mentoring, leading him to reflect on the impactful mentoring experiences he had had throughout his life.
“When I first started with Partners, I thought that mentoring was a calendar appointment,” Nic said. “I didn’t understand that it’s a lot quieter than that. It’s subtle. It’s making room for these kids. It’s teaching them how to trust themselves when they don’t think they can. It’s taking that unpolished person and not just walking by them; it’s seeing them, and that’s what Gerard did for me.”
He reflected on how each mentor throughout his life taught him important lessons that shaped the man he is today.
“My birth mom’s sacrifice lives in me. My dad’s work ethic and love of service, that still lives in me. My mom’s softness, her unconditional love, the way she made people feel safe, that still lives in me, too. Spiro’s pride in small things lives in me. Marcus and Andy’s lessons about failure and resilience and healthy outlets lives in me. Gerard’s boldness and taking a chance on a young man to steward this organization and this mission, that still lives in me,” Nic said.
He then addressed everyone in attendance at Party for Partners, explaining how crucial mentoring is for the success and development of youth, who are just like the kid he once was.
“That’s why nights like tonight and rooms like this matter: because Partners is part of building that legacy. Not by replacing families, but by coming alongside them, by helping them fill their children’s lives with the sorts of mentors that filled my life,” Nic said.
He concluded by encouraging the audience to get involved with Partners.
“Whether it’s giving your time as a mentor or a board member…these kids, they need you. I am standing here before you as a man looking back at a life where, in the loving arms of a 15-year-old mother, I would have needed Partners myself.”
By simply being there as a positive adult presence, you can fundamentally change a child’s life for the better, the same way Nic’s life was shaped by mentors. Visit our mentoring webpage to learn more about how you can become a mentor today.
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Visit our YouTube channel to watch Nic’s full speech.