Many of us have found ourselves in situations where the person or people we’re with have had too much to drink or consumed too much of another substance (read about how marijuana affects driving: How High is Too High to Drive?). You may even be concerned about a visibly impaired stranger.
There are things you should keep in mind when dealing with someone who is intoxicated. People who are intoxicated are at increased risk of health emergencies, sexual assault, physical violence, impaired driving, and other dangers due to poor decision-making. They may also be a danger to others if they are aggressive or violent. Here’s what you can do to help someone who has had too much.
How to Tell if Someone is Drunk or High
First, it’s helpful to know what to look for to determine whether someone is intoxicated. You may easily spot behavioral changes in a friend or family member – especially if you know what and how much they have consumed – but what about a stranger or acquaintance?
Signs someone may be impaired by alcohol include:
- Difficulty speaking or slurred speech
- Lowered inhibitions, such as speaking loudly or acting strangely or inappropriately
- Loss of coordination, including falling over, running into things, or having trouble walking
- Vomiting
- Glazed eyes
- Passing out or losing consciousness
Signs someone is impaired by drugs include:
- Severe mood swings or rapid behavioral changes
- Red or watery eyes
- Dilated pupils
- Trouble staying awake or nodding off
- Bloody nose (from snorting)
- Slurring words or speaking too much or too quickly
- Lack of coordination
- Unusual behaviors
- Shaking or sweaty hands
- Discolored or singed fingertips (from smoking crack cocaine)
- Clenching teeth, lip smacking, or twisting the jaw
No single symptom is enough to assume someone is impaired. Look for combinations of symptoms and use your best judgment. Note that some mental and physical disabilities can mimic the effects of drugs or alcohol.
What Should You Do If Someone Is Intoxicated?
- Stay With Them
If you’re concerned about someone you know, the most important thing to do is stay with them. You will be able to monitor them for medical emergencies, note changes in mood or behavior, and help prevent dangerous situations. If you cannot stay with your friend or family member, recruit someone they or you know to stay with them.
- Be Non-Confrontational
People who have used drugs or had too much to drink can be belligerent or hostile. Think about what you will say before confronting someone about how much they have had to drink or what they have used. Approach the person with a non-aggressive stance, hands open and empty, in a friendly, non-authoritative manner.
Focus on how you feel and avoid placing blame. Show concern for their well-being rather than judgment. If their attention starts to drift or they become defensive, try engaging them in a casual topic until they are calm and/or re-focused. If a stranger becomes angry or combative, leave them alone and call law enforcement.
- Suggest Alternatives or Distractions
Offer choices rather than making demands. Ask your friend if they want a drink, and bring them something non-alcoholic. Suggest they try some food. It is important to keep people who have overconsumed alcohol or drugs hydrated, but avoid encouraging them to drink excessive amounts of water.
To defuse a conflict or stop the person from consuming more, suggest a different activity altogether. For example, start up a video game at a party; say you need to leave and your car is conveniently parked outside, if they’d like a ride; or say something like, “Let’s get pizza, I’m starving.”
- Ask a Friend for Help
If you are dealing with a friend or family member and there are other mutual friends or family members nearby, recruit them for help. This can make approaching an intoxicated person less intimidating for you and provides more support for them.
If you are dealing with a stranger, try to find their sober friend. People are often more likely to listen to someone they know than someone they just met. However, involving other impaired people could do more harm than good, so it’s best to look for someone who is sober and able to help.
- Don’t Let Them Drive
When the party’s over or the bar is closing, most people are ready to head home. If you are concerned that someone may attempt to drive impaired, try the following:
- Explain that you don’t want your friend to drive because you care about them and don’t want them to do something they’ll regret
- Tell the stranger you’ve been talking to at the bar that they seem like a cool person, and you want to be sure they get home safe; offer to call a ride share for them
- Suggest your friend spends the night
- Offer to drive your friend or family member home. If you’re worried about confrontation, say things like: “I’m parked closer,” “The weather is bad, and I’m used to these roads,” or, “Do you want to come over? I’ll drive.”
- If you can’t stay with your friend, ask them to hand over their keys
- Let Staff Know
If you’re worried about a stranger at a bar, restaurant, or club, tell a staff member about your concerns. Bartenders and servers may be able to help manage intoxicated guests and prevent impaired driving. Managers and security staff are better able to safely approach someone who is upset or combative. They can also call law enforcement or emergency services if necessary.
- When All Else Fails, Call Law Enforcement
Never be afraid to call law enforcement if you are concerned about someone’s safety or the safety of people around them. It is better to have a friend face legal consequences than be injured or killed. Don’t let the person you care about make a decision that could have life-changing consequences.
If you see someone you suspect is impaired get into a vehicle, or if you suspect an impaired driver on the road, don’t hesitate to call 911. Impaired driving is an emergency.
When Should You Call 911 for Someone Who Is Intoxicated?
Call 911 if you believe an intoxicated person is experiencing a medical emergency, is unconscious or cannot be awakened, is having trouble breathing, is in immediate danger, or is threatening to harm themselves or someone else. If someone is driving while impaired, call 911 to report the emergency.
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Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do if someone is too drunk or high?
Stay with the person if it is safe to do so, keep them away from driving or other dangerous activities, and monitor them for signs of a medical emergency. If they become unconscious, have trouble breathing, or you believe they are in immediate danger, call 911.
How can I stop someone who is intoxicated from driving?
Use a calm, non-confrontational approach and offer alternatives such as a rideshare, a sober driver, or a place to spend the night. If possible, ask them to hand over their keys. If someone who appears impaired gets behind the wheel, call 911.
Should you let someone who is drunk or high sleep it off?
Do not simply leave an intoxicated person alone. Someone who appears to be “sleeping it off” could actually be experiencing alcohol poisoning or another medical emergency. Stay with them and monitor their condition. If they cannot be awakened, have abnormal or difficult breathing, or you are otherwise concerned about their condition, call 911.
What are the signs of alcohol poisoning or another drug-related emergency?
Warning signs can include loss of consciousness, inability to wake up, difficulty breathing, severe confusion, seizures, repeated vomiting, or other significant changes in a person’s condition. If you suspect an overdose or serious medical emergency, call 911 immediately.
What should I do if an intoxicated stranger becomes aggressive?
Prioritize your own safety. Do not confront or physically restrain someone who is aggressive or violent. Move away from the situation and notify bar, restaurant, or security staff when appropriate. If the person poses an immediate danger to themselves or others, call 911.